It's the thing.

24 July 2013

"Sneaky Hate Spiral"

(Hello to Blogger! I've moving from Tumblr to Blogger because of a more "reader" friendly environment. :) )
Hat Tip to Allie Brosh for this one: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co.uk/2010/05/sneaky-hate-spiral.html - She’s awesome!
I usually end up with at least one per summer, and I thought I’d got away with it this year. (It got so bad pre-2011 and actually thought I had Summer SAD but that was just circumstance.)
I had one last night. It started quite innocently. I hit snooze one too many times because getting me out of bed is akin to performing a miracle. So, I didn’t have time for a shower, and if anyone has been following the news, you’ll know that Britain has been under Heatwave conditions for the last 2 weeks.
So I was a stinky-butt from the get-go. Deodorant shower is go. Gross, I know, but for the first time in months, I was up early because of some training I had to be at at work. I’m nocturnal, so I wasn’t in the best of moods. I’d also only slept for 4 hours because of the heat.
Now, because I’ve had quite the busy month this month, my car is low on petrol.. And I’m out of cash. Rather than risking running out of petrol on my way to work and getting stuck on a road, I've opted to walk to work this week, which I don’t mind - I need to lose some weight anyway and I don’t mind the walk!
What I do mind, however, is the weather being muggy as hell (Honest, I checked the weather when I got to work - 97% humidity) and it was still warm (20C - which is about 77F) which wouldn’t have been too bad for a nice t-shirt and shorts walk, I guess. Unfortunately, It was also raining
I didn’t want to turn up to this seminar looking like someone threw me into a river, So I donned my waterproof jacket and jeans and headed out into the furnace
I hadn’t even walked a mile and I was already drenched in sweat, my bag hanging off my back feeling more and more like a stupid anchor. I just wanted to take off my jacket and t-shirt, lie down in a puddle and let the rain cool me off. But no - I was already running late. I carried on. 
I got to work, I might as well have just walked without the jacket with the amount of sweat coming off me.
So here’s the situation so far:
I’ve woken up late, I fucking stink, I’ve walked 4 miles in godawful heat and humidity, got to work late, my entire body is damp through sweat and I’m causing the building to need a fumigation - and I’ve only been awake an hour. Not a great start. Worst of it over, right?
Nope. Not in the slightest.
As I sit down in the seminar room, I can sense people trying to avoid me. Fair ‘nuff, I’d probably avoid me right now anyway. No offense gang. Feel free to throw potpourri at me.
So after a total of 6 hours of listening to a guy talk on about stuff we don’t even need in our job role (I was verging on passing out due to a combination of heat, boredom and lack of sleep) We got out and I went to chat to my best pal who works in another department. 
I got a lift home from another pal in another department, which was good. I definitely would not have made it home. I hopped out of the car a few streets early so he wouldn’t have to make a diversion. As I was walking toward home, a car drove through a puddle and soaked me. Motherfucker!
After eating, I immediately dived into the shower. So good.
I fought with my hair and ripped half of it out again because of all the knots in my hair that just happen.
I got back to my desk to find some horrible personal news which I shall not divulge here. This was my tipping point. This is the event that I could do nothing to prevent. There was nothing I could do to help. I sat there, fuming to myself and checked other websites before I just went to vent my frustrations on video games 
(If you must know, I went to play Dishonoured and instead of a sneaky style, I just went mental and stabbed everyone like a madman)
I got a call from another friend. “Hey dude, any chance of a lift?" 
Yes! Finally, A little drive I can have to get my frustrations out! I pulled £10 out of my super-emergency fund, and hopped into my car and turned the key. Ch-chug went the engine.
The Battery was fucking dead. I was a massive idiot a few days ago and left my car door ever so slightly open, leaving the cab light on the entire time.
I screamed and headbutted the steering wheel. A long, loud, satisfying Hooooooooooonk echoed down the street. This is it, the day I snap. I sat there for a moment. “It’s happening again. The Sneaky Hate Spiral has arrived."
After a few failed attempts of giving it a jump start with the sister’s car, We gave up and I sat in the passenger seat while we went to pick them up.
And then the highlight of the day. Despite me not using my car, my friend gave my sister the petrol money she needed, and then just gave me £10 because she “Knew what it was like to be skint"
I would have kissed her if my friend - her boyfriend - wouldn’t have probably smacked me in the mouth.
Sure, people have way worse days than me on a day-to-day basis. But there were just so many little annoyances building up into one hate filled, rage driven screamfest while I was sat in the car. 
Think of this gif, but it was in a car instead.