14 August 2013

Being Asexual and unsure of myself

I've made it no secret on this blog - or anywhere, really - that I'm Asexual.

Like sexualities, there's many different kinds of Asexuality.

Hetero, Homo, Demi, Pan, Bi and A-romanticsm.

While I'm going to hazard a guess that you all at least know what all of those mean, except maybe the Aromantic option. If you're an Aromantic Asexual, there's no sexual nor romantic attraction in you. According to you - maybe - you'd just prefer to be alone romantically.

But here's where I'm not sure of myself. Until last year, I thought I was just terrible at being Heterosexual. Then, just clicking though Random Subreddit on reddit, I found /r/Asexuality. Read a bit into the subreddit (As I usually do with any subreddit that piques my interest) and found the lack of sexual attraction was pretty much me!

After many days of reading, I still wasn't sure of my romantic orientation. I thought this would be a thing I discovered over a few weeks. Its been a year and I'm still not sure now. I'm leaning with the idea I might be demi-romantic. I'm definitely some kind of romantic. But I sit here and I'm just not sure at all.

I find it quite intimidating going out, as I've touched in my previous post "Pop Culture and Sexuality" - because I have absolutely zero interest in sex, and I'd hate to be expected to give it out if I have to hit it off with someone.

But here's the thing. I appear to be hitting it off with someone. We pretty much just spent all day talking today and this.. feeling. I've not felt something so similar as it did 7 years ago. Like I just want to grab the person and give them a tight hug and never let go. We could probably just sit there for hours and just talk.

I never thought it would happen again, you know?

I guess this is where I find out if I'm Demi/Bi-romantic or jus' plain ol' Heteroromantic, I guess.

It's Pride Month!

It's June! It's Pride Month! Aaaand Gatekeeping is a thing, apparently. If I hear/see one more person post about how Asexuality is...