So today, I attended an event which required me to be formally dressed.
I am not a person who formally dresses often. So, I take a trip to Matalan - Cheap-ish, but still good clothes. Usually my first port of call when I need some new stuff.
I pick a nice shirt - black.
I also pick a nice pair of trousers - black.
Both of these, I pick my usual size. Size 49cm chest, 18in collar. 40in waist, 33in leg.
The shirt fits me as usual.
I made the mistake of not trying on the trousers, though. I mean, come on. I can fit into size 38in waist jeans! Worst case scenario, I'd wear a belt.
This morning, I woke up and got dressed. The trousers wouldn't fucking fit. I mean, seriously. What!
Unless clothes manufacturers use different versions of metric - what the FUCK are you doing?! I'm petty sure my waistline doesn't expand and deflate that quickly. I had to make a mad dash back to Matalan for a new pair of trousers that were 42in waist - And I just about got into those!
And then I couldn't find my shoes.
Typical - you're in a rush (I was running a few minutes late at this point) and everything fucking hides.
Anyway, I snagged my dad's snazzy shoes (A size too small, I'll have you know.) and got in the car to drive 20 miles. In small shoes. Dressed formally.
Oh man, it felt weird.
I normally dress in Jeans and a t-shirt.. even for work. but anyway, I'm digressing and hiding my point of actual rage here.
Is there like a Metric v2 someone's using? Because no matter what shop I go into, I'm a different fucking size!
In Tesco's F&F Range, I'm a 38/39in waist
At Matalan, I'm 42in waist
In ASDA's George range, I'm 37/38in waist
If you're hiding a new metric from me, world, I'll tear your fucking heads off!
Edit: Metric, Imperial. Tomato, Tomato.
Yes, I'm a fucking idiot. Shh!