It's the thing.

2 September 2013

First up: Last 2 weeks

Okay. It's been quite an eventful few weeks for me. Gonna try and sum it up.. Kind of a brag as well at one part. Don't care, feels good.

Okay, so as my last post says, I worked BUCK this year, as security. I initially took it up because the Chief of Sec for them needed bodies and thought I'd fit quite well in his team. I didn't think much would come of it, fancied a bit of a change of pace in my weekend, and there was no way I'd be able to afford actual attendance.

So it turns out it's been one of the best weekends this year (so far). I had a blast out there, not only with the rest of the security guys, but the rest of the con staff were amazing. Except the gophers - we couldn't find them.
I had a few flaps (Namely, Chief and Deputy both disappearing before big things leaving me to try and mitigate as much as I can while I also tried to find out where they'd gone - or in one case - wait for them to stop dancing on stage)

Now, I'm a terrible person to give praise to. I'm convinced I'm just me. A guy who does a just-about-okay job at everything he does. I try to give my all at everything I do, but I'm just so convinced I'm just so bad at everything I do, even with everything behind me thrown at it, I can just about do an okay job.
I guess this is the downfall of working in a very corporate environment. The only time you're praised is in your first few weeks, or if you pull off something amazing. Otherwise, it's just business as usual unless you fuck up. Then it's the worst thing that ever happened and you should be ashamed for cocking up something so simple.

But this weekend (We went out drinking. Unofficial BUCK Hangover/chief of Sec's birthday), I have had the praise heaped on so hard, I'm feeling buried. I'm told because of my efforts, CoS has been offered a job. I feel he may be exaggerating in order to make me feel good, but if he has a job because of the convention, that's amazing.

They want me back next year, anyway. I was glad to take them up on it - I had a lot more fun working it than I probably would have just plain attending.

I've also been offered a place at the CoS company, should I get SIA Licenced.. which I am considering taking him up on. I'd have to ask him a lot more questions about the line of work and stuff, but it sounds very promising.

It's just been a very novel experience for me - praise.

I feel.. I don't know how to explain it.
I'm told I do well training. I'm told I have good ideas for writing, I'm told I "Did really fucking well" as security.

What.. do I do?