6 December 2014
I've been a fan of the series since the original came out, but started noticing the serious decline of the release quality around the time Revelations and AC3 came out.
The release of Unity though, is something special. Something truly, truly special.
It's broken. It's broken and in my opinion - designed fucking horribly. I'm sat here like "Surely they're not serious?"
24 November 2014
It kind of sums up my brain activity of late though.
These last few months, you've probably seen a lot less of me, due to work absolutely piling on the work in stupidly awkward places/times.
(Unless you're here from twitter. In that case, I apologise for my absolute flooding of your timelines with swearing, screenshots, and other general faffery and/or pure frothing rage)
26 August 2014
For once, I'm going to try and keep my language PG, but that's going to take some effort after the absolutely amazing weekend we just had in Manchester.
I know I'm usually a cynical, arsey git - but after the insanely long, hard weekend (That's what she said?! - Floor Team 2014) It's hard to believe I'd be working 40+ hours over a weekend for absolutely no pay and not care, and even want it to carry on.
But it happened.
I know the HR guys at BUCK would lose their minds if I said I didn't take breaks (I did. Don't you guys wig out!) but I could have honestly stayed on with merely just a few minutes to eat. Even pulling off 17/18 hours on Friday and Saturday with only time to sleep.
If my day-job asked me to do something similar, I'd absolutely lose my mind and probably quit on the spot and throw everyone the middle finger.
But at BUCK? Eh, whatever. I don't mind. I'll stay on if you need me!
Seriously, I know it seems cheesy and cliche to say this - but Con staff run off your smiles. Smile at us and we'll smile back and probably break into a run because we just got a little boost of motivation
Convention work is stressful, tiring and absolutely draining at the best of times, and killer at worst, but when we see you enjoying yourself, it reminds us why we actually signed up for this. I almost melted into goo more than a few times when I had attendees approach me and personally thank me for working the con.
I know the brony community has a huge negative attachment to it, but the cons are fantastic. The only incident we had this year was someone having too much fun and pulling a muscle in their shin from dancing way too hard.
I may be pretty much anything but a brony these days, but you guys were absolutely fantastic. When I politely tapped you on the shoulder and asked you to shuffle away from the doors, you didn't ignore me and say "no", you understood and shuffled along
Everyone in Workshop 2 on Sunday evening - Thank you! You made what could have made me meltdown into a pile of stress into a (mostly) stress free event.
I'm going to apologise yet again for being a downer and trying to get people out of the room while you were trying to get signatures. I felt bad the entire time, believe me. But I had to get the rooms sorted!
I guess I'm mostly just fluffing now. (I can hear floor team sniggering in the background)
I honestly can't say it enough. BUCK attendees, you made it possible. I know, it sounds crazy, but I might just have died on Sunday morning if you guys hadn't been super enthusiastic about it all!
(I walked into a car dealership today and the guy I spoke to not even a week ago said "Jesus man, you look absolutely exhausted, what the hell have you been doing? I spoke to you on Wednesday and you look like you've aged about 10 years!")
11 July 2014
I fully understand that like, half of you are Fanboys (Or Fangirls). But there's a minority of fanboys (A very vocal minority, I might add) who drive me absolutely batty to the point where I'm about to go Malcolm Tucker on some people.
These people are so infuriating, I actively avoid going into anything I find interesting, because it's inevitable I'm going to run into one of these fuckers and lose my temper.
These fanboys I'm talking about are the type who will see what you like, or what you use, or what you listen to and decide to ream you out because it's not what they like or what they use
Screaming at me over the internet because I use an ATI Card, or a AMD Processor.
Or because I like the new In Flames material compared to their old stuff
Hold on, let me get a rant from an "Old In Flames" fan. I got attacked by one of these cunts a few years back because I liked "Sounds of a Playground Fading"
"In flames has been putting out poppy shitty mainstream sounding metal since like 1999. Zombie Inc was one of their last good songs. This stuff is NOTHING like the old stuff. The Jester Race is one of the best epic metal albums I have ever heard in my life. This new stuff is seriously just like...What the fuck"
You don't like it. No big deal. It doesn't sound anything like the old stuff, because "The Old Stuff" was made in 1994. 20 fucking years ago. - Do you have any idea how much has changed, musically, over the last 20 years? I sure fucking don't, but I know that a lot has changed, and there's all sorts of new shiny things for musicans to play around with and experiment with
If you don't like it, leave it the fuck alone. Why do you constantly have to take a shit on something? You're not even being critical of it - You're just calling it shit.
You're practically doing the equivalent of just walking into a show, sitting at the front, looking disinterested and calling it crap.
You're being an entitled shit about what someone is producing and spending years refining.
"Ooh, I don't like it that way, you should go back and do it the way you used to do it!"
Hey, buddy - As a writer, if you asked me to look over my old stuff and asked me to do that again, I would punch you in the face - but music is different from writing yadda yadda yadda.
Yes, artists sounds do change, it's called progression. It happens everywhere. Political, Social, Musical, Creative.
We move forward as a species in everything we do, if you want a band that does the same thing over and over again, you'll be all:
"Wow, you guys never change, why do we even bother buying new stuff?"
Fanboys - especially elitist fanboys - are the most fickle little shites you will ever lay eyes on.
The most famous kind of fanboy is your gaming fanboy. These are the types who will completely dismiss a game and god forbid someone actually has fun with it.
"How can you like that? Have you seen its Metacritic score? It's an absolute pile of shit!"
They'll squeal, acting as if Metacritic is a god, and humans are a hive mind species
Humans are finicky, squealy creatures and if something doesn't go as promised they'll pretend it's the worst thing to ever exist
If I hear one more person say that the ending to Mass Effect 3 was the biggest letdown in gaming, I am actually going to flay you alive. Yeah, sure, before the extended cut came out it was a sack of shit - but that's a whole other bag of snakes - but when the extended cut came out, I was satisfied. It sure could have used a little more finesse and actual finish, but it cleared the story up in a nice way. Eventually.
As humans, we're different. We all like different music, games, etc.
I just wish there was less of a chance of being ridiculed for what I do in my spare time.
1 July 2014
Alright! 1 whole month off from being shouty
I've been relaxing and playing video games and just generally goofing off. While having a slight meltdown over work stuff. I know, opposites. I keep work and life separate because I don't want to drive myself to an early grave.
So, while on twitter last night/earlier today, a discussion arose about Early Access games, and just how goddamn fucking saturated Steam - no, the entire internet is saturated with these half finished - "Promise we'll make it" games on Steam Greenlight, Kickstarter, Indiegogo - whatever.
Don't get me wrong, Crowdfunding is a fantastic tool for producers who want to remain independent from larger publishers who - at a whim can dissolve you, or give you a massive dicking, depending on your publisher.
But with successes like Star Citizen, Broken Age and many, many more - the less scrupulous developers will raise their heads and proclaim
"That's a good pie. I want some of that pie"
And they release a whole metrick fuckton of utter goddamn shite, it almost invalidates the damn platform. I actively dodge steam greenlight and early access games for this reason alone. Greenlight and Kickstarter now require a lot of research and monitoring before you even think about backing those projects.
So many times, we've seen "devs" take the money and run, delivering only a tiny amount of their promise, or actually just disappearing completely. The entire platform can suffer from Peter Molyneux syndrome and it's only now people are becoming aware of the actual shite that appears in there!
Speaking of Steam and other platforms, I have a huge problem with their "Promoted" area
Sometimes, I'll go lurk the steam front page, See what's on sale, see what's new, all that junk. I like video games. I get ideas from video games. Sometimes, I'll see a game on the promo slide that has this really interesting looking screenshot or artwork and I think "This is quite relevant to my interest, let me have a look at this."
BAM. Early Access. The game isn't even 1/4 of the way done, and we have some extremely Alpha looking gameplay on the first video that steam shows. You think I'm dropping £30 on a "Promise we'll finish it, really truely" game. Me personally - No. Hecka No.
I understand that people are interested in helping smaller, more unknown devs get their games out and finished while supporting them, but for god's sake, leave the marketing and promotion for when it's Nearly Done, y'know? You're advertising this extremely unfinished product - so when it does finally get another spot in a few months, my initial thoughts are always "Oh, there's that unfinished game again."
Again. I'm not shitting on Early Access. Again, games like Minecraft and Star Citizen pulled/are pulling them off quite well.
Games like Planetary Annihilation who are actually sending out physical copies of early access games to retailers to sell have zero fucking sense or priorities. What part of "I'll go down to the shop today to pay an inflated price for a game for the sake of convenience" (I have nothing against them. Sometimes you just want a game NOW) "and hey look I'll buy this unfinished game for full price and wait a year to play the finished product.
You're basically paying for the privilege of being an alpha tester.
Because of the truckloads of early access games and absolute piles of dogshit games making their way across steam's promoted area, is it any wonder I stopped bothering checking the main page every day now? It's almost getting back to the point where a title backed by a publisher is a sign of a good quality, actually finished product..
And even that's saying something..
3 May 2014
Another one about Sexuality from me. This time, as the title mentions, I've given up on trying to find mine.
Regular readers might know that I had a little bit of a breakdown a few months back trying to work out where I was sexually and decided to go for a walk and get soaked through to decide "It's fine you idiot."
Looking back on the last year, I want to kick myself in the head. I've always been a person to have a label. "Mosher, Metalhead, Nerd, Asexual" and various other ones.
Since I've been with my Partner, I've grown further and further from the Asexual label, to the point where I feel the label might not really fit me any more. That led into discussions about demi and pan and--
You know what, fuck it.
I'll be sexually attracted to whatever I feel sexually attracted to, and not attracted to other things.
I mean it doesn't really matter at this point anyway.. I can feel mine and my partner's relationship going far. It's been, what, nearly 8 months now? I mean, no-one can predict exactly what will happen in a few months time - if I knew that I'd totally be a millionaire right now - but I don't want this to end - I'm happy where I am right now (except financially, but I'm sure you've heard enough of that)
There's studies showing that human sexuality isn't exactly solid, so maybe I'm just floating through a new shift in sexuality, but in all, what's the point in it, really? I mean, yeah, it's hardwired into us to love and care and have wild raving sex with one another (except Asexuals.. Who might still have wild raving sex but don't actively seek it out or get attracted and all that jazz)
I don't know if I'm Bi, Gay, Ace, Pan, or Demi or whatever, and I'm beyond caring at this point. If anyone asks explicitly, I'll just say Bi or Ace, depending on if I can be arsed giving them the usual "What's that?" Ace spiel.
2 May 2014
So as most of the world knows, Jeremy is a lovable, slightly cooky TV presenter, well known for his antics on the show Top Gear.
Recently there's a bit of a.. "Discussion" over his alleged racism after reciting "Eeny Meeny Miney Moe" rhyme while trying to pick a car (or something similar) because the version he used contained the "N word", which news outlets know they can;t say for fear of being branded racists themselves.
But here's the kicker - I've listened to the segment where he allegedly said it, and you can clearly hear him mumbling on purpose when he reaches the offending word. Unless you're listening to every single word he said extremely intently, it's impossible to hear it!
Seriously. Is everyone subject to so much scrutinsation that even a slight mumble can be considered offensive because some guy with some audio enhancing kit can unmumblefy some words (Shut up it's a thing I don't care)
Maybe it's because you know the rhyme and it's the word you're expecting is the reason why you can hear it?
Or maybe, he did say it, but it's purely out of memory. I know I can do a lot of childhood things, purely from habit/memory even though I haven't done them in nearly 2 decades!
We were the most foul mouthed kidders on the playground. Much like eeny meeny miney mo, we used a variation that went "Ip dip dog shit.." We were 10!
It's clear he made an effort to not say the word out loud, and even if he had, I'm pretty sure something could be done with it in post production to cover up the offensive mumbling. He even said to the production guys "Don't use it, I can hear myself saying the word ever so slightly" and offered another clean take.
Now apparently half the world is baying for his blood and calling for him to resign.
Why on earth is it considered the norm for someone who made a mistake, or is effectively "set up" that they have to resign!?
You see it in politicians, TV presenters, web developers, and pretty much every public facing profession with even so much as 20-30 people being interested in it.
We're human, we make mistakes. A slip of the tongue, a physical goof, miscommunication - it happens. Why can't the media, and the world at large acknowledge that a mistake was made and we all learn from our mistakes and move on?
No no no, We can't publicly hang people any more, we gotta get that thirst for blood out somehow, even if it's metaphorical blood. A scandal is delicious because it sparks insults on social media, papers are sold, hits on news websites. That's pretty much why the mirror decided to leak/point it out. Because journalists get bored.
I'll not step into his previous forays, he's not exactly a saint, but I think he's innocent here. Baying for blood/resignations is just over the top for a brief mumble
1 May 2014
UKIP are gaining a lot of traction recently, mostly due to their huge campaign for the local and MEP elections coming up in about 3 weeks.
For those of you who actually read this who aren't aware, we have our local elections for local councils, which are actually the running force behind our infrastructure, etc, and then there's the MEP elections, which we vote for which people we send to the European parliament to represent us in the EU.
As their name suggests, UKIP want out of Europe because "We need to rule ourselves" and "We need to take our country back", while sounding like a bunch of racists while they're at it.
As is par for the course with these slightly nutty right wing parties, there's always a few "extremists" in the party, and whenever one of them kicks themselves in the mouth either with twitter or on camera, Farage and his posse have to press release that they've "been suspended and currently conducting investigations"
AKA. Slap on the wrist, go home, think about what you've done and maybe we'll let you back in when the media frenzy dies down
Oh. And it turns out they're funded by a homophobic nutjob too.
This fellow here, Godfrey Bloom is a frequent offender but after multiple suspensions, he "Quit" and now sits as an independent MEP. Major gaffes by him include calling a group of feminists "Sluts", mocking disability and generally being a bit of an offensive git, really. Oh, also denying Climate Change
They like to insist they're not racist in the slightest, but it's really difficult to do so while screaming "Europeans are coming for British Jobs! YOUR Jobs!"
You know guys, it's a fucking two way street! Sure, anyone within the EU can move to Britain with merely a little headache.. But we can also move anywhere within the EU with very little effort (In terms of paperwork, anyway). Please stop acting like having a few human rights issues and completely harmless but sometimes admittedly petty changes - like daytime lights on cars - being imposed on us is like the end of the world.
The things that wind me the most about Elected MEP's like our anti-hero in this rant, Nigel Farage,
for the most part, they're either not turning up, not voting on motions at all, or just saying "No" in spite.
Not only are they funneling money for absolutely nothing to themselves, but they're pretty much undermining everything they've been sent there for. People voted for you, thinking you'd listen to them, get a good understanding of what your constituents want and vote accordingly - even if you do want out of Europe, play by the fucking rules, you cunts! They're spiteful, childish and everything wrong with politics in the UK.
But even more so, I'll feel bad, because it's the majority of people who voted would have gotten them there. The general ignorance of most of the electorate actually astounds me sometimes. Never ever take some fuck in a suit promising to make things better for everyone and saving money. It's just not going to work. They lying, conniving scumbags and getting outraged after all is done and the lies are slowly permeating through that formerly pleasant demeanor. Farage is pretending to chummy and "like everyone else" but if his party gets anywhere near Westminster in force, that demeanor will change entirely and we'll be willing to throw anyone under a train to get his way.
Also, for a party named "UK Independence Party", their name implies a 1 policy thought, and in terms of local elections for councils, what exactly can they do to get independence? Absolutely jack shit, but yet, they flyers are still going out screaming about independence and immigration and-- Local Councillors can't do anything about that. They sort roads, sort hospitals, local economy stuff. Please get off the immigration plinth and get on a relevant-to-local-politics plinth please. You're sounding like a looped track.
Also, if UKIP do get into Westminster and they do get out of Europe... what then? Reminds me of Wile E Coyote when he did catch the Road Runner that one time.
Get some more policies other than "WE WANT OUT" and you might be taken more seriously by people other than massive racists.
25 April 2014
But earlier this month I was having a panic attack over money and convinced the second I get paid, it'd be gone and I still wouldn't have enough. I was trying everything to get my hands on a loan, and I idiotically turned to a company called Loans Direct (UK)
NOTE: DO NOT GO TO THESE FUCKS
What they were providing was a broker service.. to more fucking brokers. More details in here: http://www.accordingtotaern.com/2014/04/shady-loans.html
Anyway. So I rang them last month to get shit cancelled because I was being a stupid idiot and I wasn't going to be in super debt as long as I managed it all right.
I went through to the refund department... Who talked me into going to _this_ lender, promising they were different. I went to them.. They were another fucking broker.
I've been a tad busy during their working hours, so I've not been able to contact them until I saw the £69 membership fee come out of my account today.
I flipped shit.
Grabbed the phone. Twice was hung up on when I pressed the refund option.
3rd time, I got through to someone finally. And this point, I'm fuming.
The poor lady who answered the phone didn't even acknowledge I'd actually called the refund line, references my previous call, asked me how that lender went and offered me a new lender.
I stood my ground and said
"Look, I appreciate you're trying to help, but I've just had a stupidly high charge come out of my bank account, and the fine balance I had for the rest of this month has now been tipped on its head.
I was told this charge would be payable after 62 days, not 10 days. I've been meaning to contact you, but my working hours don't accommodate for your opening hours, and the only time I had the opportunity I was sweet talked into that previous lender you mentioned, who turned me down.
As I've mentioned, I've now got a fine balance and I should be debt free in a few months if I'm careful, which was what the loan I originally planned for was to cover"
Even after that huge tirade about why I want a refund, she still had the fucking _balls_ to offer me the fucking loan again.
At this point I lost it completely. I didn't swear but I was very hard-assed.
"Seriously, I'm not interested in the loans you're trying to provide me, It's a horrible loop of brokers, each with extortionate fees each and I'd be looking at paying out £1k before I got the £1k I was after borrowing. Just please, please give me the refund."
Turns out I had to go by the website anyway, the refund line was just to catch the weak-willed.
They're fucking sharks, and they served only to gather money from the financially fucked without even giving them money first. They're worse than payday loan providers. So. Much. Worse.
Also, while I was writing this, rather than the spam calls I get on my mobile, one of them actually rang my house number which isn't exactly my phone number to be ringing. No idea how they got hold of it.
I blew up on them.
"Right, okay, listen, I've had about 15 calls TODAY -- and it's only 12pm which I have purposefully blocked on my mobile number. One. How did you even get this number? Two. Why did you call me on my parents number? This is not even my number to be called on. Three. Please stop calling me, I've had about enough of spam calls and texts, especially when I'm at work and I'm expecting very important phone calls. Do not call this number again."
23 April 2014
14 April 2014
I got desperate. I plugged my phone number into a loan "search engine" for bad credit. (For reference, my credit is at rock bottom. I can't get much lower. Banks won't even look twice at me)
Now here's the thing. to people absolutely diabolical with money - like myself - £1k at 50-60% APR isn't too bad a deal, especially if we're paying a lot more than that already per month on other debts. They advertise their rates, their offers and SPAM THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ANY PHONE NUMBER THEY CAN FIND
14 March 2014
I'll sit there and press buttons. Read the text on the screen. Type lots. Get mad at what I type on the screen and delete it all.
At this point I've practically given up on writing for now, purely because my environment is so fucking distracting or just generally unhelpful, I've just driving myself crazier just trying to write. Even writing this stupid vent is labouring to me.
I've not exactly had a great month or two. My old Insomnia is coming back. I've had about 10 hours sleep or something in the last week. I've only been eating maybe 1 meal a day, but even that's a struggle sometimes. Work's driving me up the wall. I'm a drifter at the moment. Hovering between departments doing a bit of everything and generally being unable to connect properly with anyone. On top of that, students know they have the upper hand and are complaining to management just because they can.
Of course, despite my huge pile of "excellent" feedback, a single complaint and management are on my arse giving me an ear chewing. I'm getting fazed and it's almost getting to the point where I don't even want to pull myself out of be in the morning for anything, never mind work. But I can't sleep well. So I might as well get up and do something.
I'm sluggish, slow and generally nonresponsive. Poke me and I'll take 2-3 seconds to realise what just happened. Somehow I'm expected to do stuff.
I'd like to hibernate the weeks away. Maybe get a new job. Lose the debt I'm just about keeping up with.
But I can't. It's bullshit and I'm clawing at the walls, one step off completely losing the plot. Can't sleep anyway. Can't hibernate. Think I'll just crawl up a wall instead.
Approach me and get on the wrong side of me right now, I'll probably snap at you or swing something in your direction. Already done it 3 times today..
10 February 2014
7 February 2014
I was listening back to Stone Sour's "Through Glass" today.. I brought myself to look at a comment I made about a year back on the video.
"Sometimes I feel like this.
Just.. sitting on the sidelines, watching everything go past.
It's been years since I really got involved with anything or anyone.
I'm just stood on the other side of a pane of glass - the guy who knows a lot of people but the relationships aren't deep.
Fucking music, making me realise stuff about myself."
I've never been much of a people person. I've a very small group of friends. I've never really ventured outside of my little social circle.. And even within my social circle, I try not to get involved. Sometimes I'd like to know what others think of me, whether or not they feel like I'm involved in their lives in any way at all.
Oh, god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home,
Sitting all alone inside your head"
29 January 2014
People familiar with me and my past entries know I'm not in the best of financial health. I lived waaaay beyond my means back in 2009-2012 and was relying on payday loans to pay off other payday loans, and it became a horrible, vicious cycle of debt. And most people would think I'd be immediately hostile to payday loan companies. It's actually quite the opposite. The advice I offer is;
"Don't be stupid
Play it sensible and don't borrow if you don't have to
And if you absolutely have to, don't borrow more than you do actually need."
Borrowing to buy a shiny? Don't
Borrowing because your car broke down? Can it wait?
Borrowing because you might be booted out because rent issues? Talk to the landlord first.