26 December 2015

Tumblr, I'm lookin' at you.

UPDATE: I have since learned that "Down With Cis" was a reaction to a false story and is funny. I am a dumb shit who doesn't read properly. :3c


I've been meaning to say this for a while. I am well aware people are going to read a bit of the article and promptly slam me to the ground. I'll just politely ask that you read it all the way through.

So. I spend a lot of time on Tumblr. I don't miss a single post from the people I follow. When I get home from work, I scroll through all the posts I missed while I was away, chuckling, giggling and generally losing my drink.

Tumblr is a great place where you choose who to follow, what to follow and everyone's tumblr experience is different. Mine is generally full of shitposts and stupid vines and pictures, and I love it.

But there's an extremely... toxic side to tumblr. It's the overly offended, knighting population of the site who can turn a simple innocent post into a war of being "offended" and misunderstanding.

I am aware that I am Cis, male, and white. And no, fuck you, I'm not apologising for that. I am what I am, and I'm going to rock it. Because what I am doesn't make me a chauvanist pig. I try to be understanding. I try to see things the way others see things. I am aware there's oppression in the system, there is legitimate homo/transphobia across the world. I'm not saying there isn't.

I see so many posts of people making innocent textposts suddenly political. I've seen users dragged through the mud over accusations from over 5 years ago. We all need to learn that people change, I mean, fuck. I've changed a lot even over the last 2 years. 23 year old me would be fucking disgusted at how open and shitposty I am recently. But that's because I've taken medication to help me stop being angry. To stop being overly analytical, and to (mostly) stop worrying.

I'm not saying everyone on that side of tumblr needs medication. Far from it.
What I'm trying to say is - Please take a day off. I know you want to do something good for the world, for the internet. But aggressively targeting users who are either joking, or you know - Don't know better - is going to prove detrimental to the cause.

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but screaming profanities and calling for people to die generally results in blocks and being ignored, even becoming hostile, or more hostile to whatever you were screaming at them for.

I've seen entire hate movements spring up within the site. "Down with Cis." among others. I'm going to be honest here. It's Fucking Childish. Do not fight hate with more hate. It only stokes the fire further.
Lets say I poked you right in the eye. It might have been an accident, or I might have done it on purpose. If you jab me in both of my eyes, I know that was on purpose then. I'm either going to jab you right back and call you a cunt, or just hate you outright, because you're a spiteful little shite.
Whereas if you say "Dude, what the fuck was that for?" I'll probably apologise because I'm not one for jabbing people right where they're most sensitive and I'll learn not to walk around with my fingers at eye level and sticking out.

It goes for what I say too. If you're not comfortable being called Dude, Pal or anything else like that (I use them neutrally. Everyone's a dude) - Tell me. I'll take it on board and I'll stop. I want everyone to feel comfortable around me.

Sometimes, just a gentle nudge towards some light, informative reading may cause people to, y'know, learn something. It has worked for me. I joined Google+ back in 2011/2012 and I met and befriended a lot of LGBT folks. I thought I was straight. I really did. Now with help and understanding over those fine folks (Who are still friends, both Tumblr and Twitter), I've learned about Asexuality, Polyamory, Pansexuality, trans causes, and what it is to be Trans.

I am still learning, there will be times when me (and others) may slip up. For the most part, we don't mean it. We want to understand. But attacking people and calling upon others to do the same is not going to help. It's going to alienate people. It's going to make them angry. Fight hate with love and they'll realise they're being dickheads and they'll stop.

Unless they really are dickheads. Then just block and ignore them. <3

29 November 2015

Blog, Life, Direction and pondering.

Evening, folks

So, I got to thinkin' (dangerous, I know.)

This blog has quite a limited focus, usually being my rambles on current events and/or, my brain's current direction in trying to make my life shit.

I'm not sure if I want to open it up to my creative thoughts and ramblings. I'm a little worried on the creative front due to the potential of stolen ideas, especially as I tend to go into a lot of detail on something I've not even properly developed yet. I have ideas for novels, games.. pretty much anything that anyone can interact with or watch.

It's my dream in life to be able to create something that captivates people to watch, play, or read something again to catch details they missed, or to try and understand cultures or characters more.
I am very inspired by Bioware's stuff, if you hadn't noticed. Also, the recent release of Undertale has pulled me in quite deep for character writing. 

I don't think a blog format is a good way of detailing worlds and characters though. Maybe short stories? but I have mind maps and wikis for worlds, planets, characters, and cultures..

If I can ever muster up the effort to write shorts, I might dump them here, or even start a new blog entirely just to hold them.
Of course, that counts on me actually writing stuff.. Which is unlikely. Depression and Anxiety can do a number on people, including making them think their work, among other things, is unbearable.

I know right? My brain wants to show the worlds and characters I'm creating.. But at the same time, it's constantly saying "But they're shit, though. No-one will want to see them. Don't even bother trying."

Mood of the day;

28 November 2015


That update was overdue, huh?

I've not had Taern as an official alias for the longest time. Nearly 7, maybe 8 months? So I went out today and got a new domain, as my new header (which I also got today) sort of made me want to update everything and stuff.

I've not really had much to blog about to be honest, hence the quiet period. Work stress, work and just being a miserable pile of trash isn't really worth blogging about, and I wish I had time to study the news in a bit more detail to blog frothing opinions.

So uh.

I'll hopefully get something out soon!

14 August 2015

Back to normal

Apologies for that last post. That was a last minute, "I'm-having-a-mental-breakdown" moment.

But, as it's been a good few months, thought I might as well update with what's going on in my life right now, hopefully I'll start having time for some more blogging soon.

But, the last few months have been utterly bonkers in terms of workload. I've been regularly pulling 1,000 miles per week because when term is out, our customers are spread all over the country, rather than in accommodation at university. I'm the guy they send outside of the cities, so it just got slightly more manic for me. With results day finally coming today, we're going to get 100% busier, so..


I've been up to a lot recently.

I've finally properly started working on the game design course. I moved to a City & Guilds qualification (I think it's a degree equivalent) rather than a TIGA diploma. Has a wider recognition - the downside, pretty much had to start again. Oh well, got an extension, s'all good!

As you can probably see from the profile picture, I'm back on Final Fantasy 14 again. So a bit of my spare time goes into that!

I'm super into art related stuff recently, though my motivation for actually doing any writing myself is still at rock bottom. I can happily tweet and shitpost my way through the day but getting some fiction done is just beyond me at the moment. Soon, hopefully.

Celldweller and Blue Stahli's music is really helping to get the creative juices flowing, I just need to find time and motivation to actually write these new ideas down.

In terms of my mental health, I'm a little bit of a wreck as you've probably already noticed. I think the medication I'm on (Citalopram) is affecting my memory a little, and I'm forgetting a lot of small things, just enough to make me lose my temper when I do remember.. Like taking said medications. I'll sometimes just outright forget for days and wonder why I'm spiralling down back to pre-medication levels of depression.

Also, as a last note for now - I am becoming the ultimate furry. I've ordered a custom fursuit, and It'll be done next year at some point! I'm hoping it'll be finished for Confuzzled, but can't rush 'em!

Might be back later in the week with more "usual" content, like getting angry at things that aren't myself.

14 April 2015

General Election 2015: Thoughts so far


Back to business as usual, I suppose - talking and flinging shit in every direction.

31 March 2015

Thank You.

As a bit of a followup to my previous post - I have been to the Doc's again - and while I still just got more anti-depressants, these ones seem to be working, rather than making me worse.

I'm on Citalopram now, rather than Sertraline.

But, as the title says, I'm here to thank a few people, because I feel like I haven't said enough to people.

23 March 2015

Depression, Anxiety, Medication, and Motivation

Hiya, Internet.

It's been a while, huh?

Gonna apologise for that right now, not posted a whole lot of substance in the last few months. I mean, yeah. I've been active on twitter and stuff, but it's been a whole lot of drivel and whining, interspersed with game talk and occasional retweets.

Truth is - some of you already know - I went to the docs a few weeks back and he gave me some Anti-Depressants. I've been on and off with anxiety and depressive episodes for years, but never really thought much of them, thinking it was normal. It was in Febuary when I got back from a weekend away when I just had a week solid of feeling useless, untalented, unwanted.

"Memes", Irony, and the Internet's short-term memory

Hello again, internet. I'm back.  Content warning for this one! -> Antisemitism, Racism, General Bigotry It's all getting ...